I want to do a lot with my life. That sounds great in theory. In practice it looked like a several half-hearted attempts at different career paths. It didn’t show my improvements at multiple pursuits. At least I used to think so until tonight. Let me explain why the bracing through the stinging failure leads to a stunning celebration.
I love observing the world around me; from the infection of the Brown Recluse Spider (I’m serious, please let me explain. The way the pernicious creatures can destroy a living animal with a single bite is fascinating. Gross, but fascinating.) to the graceful way water forms into a spherical shape due to its surface tension. All things have their own fascinating functional.
As soon as I found this path (and my eyes were finally opened tonight), I knew it was right for me. Before I could read, I wrote books; I scribbled and drew pictures. I collected books in my room before I even knew which way was “right side up.” I wanted the knowledge. Since I published a piece in a magazine when I was 10, I knew I loved writing. At the same time, science runs right alongside my other passions with equal strength; all of my science classes held my captive from giggling about how the platypus swims with its eyes, ears, and nose shut in second grade to recent marveling and reconsideration at the way light travels in particles called photons and in electromagnetic radiation waves. Because of this fascination with science’s beauty and function, I intended to pursue science in college. At school, I later chose to study the world through form and beauty in artistic expression. That’s a fancy way of saying I graduated with an arts degree instead of a science degree. I also did it because it meant I could study in Italy and graduate early to save money.
I worked in various jobs in the past, from art-teacher’s assistant to janitor. I enjoyed all of them. In my mind, everything can be interesting. But they all lacked the ability to pique my interest like studying the sciences did. After I declined my acceptance to Columbia University’s post-bac pre-med program this past January, I immediately regretted not being involved in medicine. I was confident, however, that stifling my desire to write and create would always remain impossible. Unfortunately, I believed I would be forced to choose between creative expression and science. I wandered in a state of foreboding “forever less-than-satiated.”
Throughout this process, writing comforted me. For the last 12 years of my life, I have spent time everyday to record the experiences of the people and events around me. My decade’s worth handwritten books (the number passed 10 a few years ago) testify that I am incapable of not writing. I can’t live without it. Since I declined a medical path due to funding, an art career rejected and dejected me, it made perfect sense when I started working as an editorial assistant at a newspaper. Not surprisingly, I love it. But I know it is missing something. That something is the thrill I get from challenging myself scientifically and communicating to others the excitement and importance of learning about the world.
Sometimes I am bothered by news. At first, I thought my frustration with the news might mean I still wanted to be doctor. Tonight, however, my moping eyes opened enough to witness writing and science merge together. I can truly have the best of both worlds. Writing about medicine and other sciences allows me to learn cutting-edge science and help other people understand it in order that they may live their lives better. The best part about this career choice? I know I will love it. No, I take that back. The best part about this career choice is that I am already on the right path. I don’t need to take the MCAT to start working on it, and everyday I get better at it.
Oh, wait, the best part is that I still get to practice guitar, harp, piano, read books, spend time in the sunshine appreciating nature, watch funny movies, and not worry that I am going to fail my medical boards or kill someone if I don’t learn exactly what adenosine triphosphate does TONIGHT- because I am not a doctor. I’m a writer, an artist, a wanna-be musician and a science junkie.
…I will want to learn all of its functions in November though. Wish me luck!
Don’t worry, I’ll still post art, I will just also be adding science to these pieces. Maybe this will turn into a book someday.
Hahaha, I can see it now, “Science for the Art Blogger: the Why Behind Your Inspiration”
Ooh! I thought of another positive: I get to write in coffee shops, sidewalks, stores, trees, at home, at work, and everywhere. I love my life. I hope you do too. If you don’t take some time to look at everything you do in a month or week. Where do you spend most of your time? Where does your daydream always end up? Can those two things conglomerate or synthesize? I hope so. Good luck.