Functionality fascinates me.

I want to do a lot with my life. That sounds great in theory. In practice it looked like a several half-hearted attempts at different career paths. It didn’t show my improvements at multiple pursuits. At least I used to think so until tonight. Let me explain why the bracing through the stinging failure leads to a stunning celebration.

I love observing the world around me; from the infection of the Brown Recluse Spider (I’m serious, please let me explain. The way the pernicious creatures can destroy a living animal with a single bite is fascinating. Gross, but fascinating.)  to the graceful way water forms into a spherical shape due to its surface tension. All things have their own fascinating functional.

As soon as I found this path (and my eyes were finally opened tonight), I knew it was right for me. Before I could read, I wrote books; I scribbled and drew pictures. I collected books in my room before I even knew which way was “right side up.” I wanted the knowledge. Since I published a piece in a magazine when I was 10, I knew I loved writing. At the same time, science runs right alongside my other passions with equal strength; all of my science classes held my captive from giggling about how the platypus swims with its eyes, ears, and nose shut in second grade to recent marveling and reconsideration at the way light travels in particles called photons and in electromagnetic radiation waves. Because of this fascination with science’s beauty and function, I intended to pursue science in college. At school, I later chose to study the world through form and beauty in artistic expression. That’s a fancy way of saying I graduated with an arts degree instead of a science degree. I also did it because it meant I could study in Italy and graduate early to save money.

I worked in various jobs in the past, from art-teacher’s assistant to janitor. I enjoyed all of them. In my mind, everything can be interesting. But they all lacked the ability to pique my interest like studying the sciences did. After I declined my acceptance to Columbia University’s post-bac pre-med program this past January, I immediately regretted not being involved in medicine. I was confident, however, that stifling my desire to write and create would always remain impossible. Unfortunately, I believed I would be forced to choose between creative expression and science. I wandered in a state of foreboding “forever less-than-satiated.”

Throughout this process, writing comforted me. For the last 12 years of my life, I have spent time everyday to record the experiences of the people and events around me. My decade’s worth handwritten books (the number passed 10 a few years ago) testify that I am incapable of not writing. I can’t live without it. Since I declined a medical path due to funding, an art career rejected and dejected me, it made perfect sense when I started working as an editorial assistant at a newspaper. Not surprisingly, I love it. But I know it is missing something. That something is the thrill I get from challenging myself scientifically and communicating to others the excitement and importance of learning about the world.

Sometimes I am bothered by news. At first, I thought my frustration with the news might mean I still wanted to be doctor. Tonight, however, my moping eyes opened enough to witness writing and science merge together. I can truly have the best of both worlds. Writing about medicine and other sciences allows me to learn cutting-edge science and help other people understand it in order that they may live their lives better. The best part about this career choice? I know I will love it. No, I take that back. The best part about this career choice is that I am already on the right path. I don’t need to take the MCAT to start working on it, and everyday I get better at it.

Oh, wait, the best part is that I still get to practice guitar, harp, piano, read books, spend time in the sunshine appreciating nature, watch funny movies, and not worry that I am going to fail my medical boards or kill someone if I don’t learn exactly what adenosine triphosphate does TONIGHT- because I am not a doctor. I’m a writer, an artist, a wanna-be musician and a science junkie.

…I will want to learn all of its functions in November though. Wish me luck!

Don’t worry, I’ll still post art, I will just also be adding science to these pieces. Maybe this will turn into a book someday.

Hahaha, I can see it now, “Science for the Art Blogger: the Why Behind Your Inspiration”

Ooh! I thought of another positive: I get to write in coffee shops, sidewalks, stores, trees, at home, at work, and everywhere. I love my life. I hope you do too. If you don’t take some time to look at everything you do in a month or week. Where do you spend most of your time? Where does your daydream always end up? Can those two things conglomerate or synthesize? I hope so. Good luck.

skeleton drawing

Freshman year drawing of a skeleton I studied.

 

your vice of choice

dance with [insert vice here]

Discovering Life

We think we know what life is about. We all have our boxed lives and pretty pictures of ourselves. But luckily, life runs less-than-parallel to our pictures of life.

Thank God for that.

I caught up with an old friend today to talk about graphic design. We enjoyed a joyful and peaceful conversation about graphic design, the kinds of fun technology we partake in and the important people in our lives. Life isn’t always what we expect, but often it is better than we thought it would be if we wear the right glasses and see correctly. Perhaps some people just need more adjustment to their sight than others.

At any rate.. here is an odd little painting!

Behind the scenes of every great story, building, love, idea and life a scaffolding once stood. It wasn’t always appreciated or pretty at the time, but it served it’s purpose well .

piece I created last night while talking with my boyfriend in Photoshop.

Painful Memories?

Painful Memories?

Do you have memories which cause your insides to feel like this? In moments raw honesty artists are able to make some of the beginnings of their best work. When I continue to work on pieces and work in time, skill, and careful observation, the raw honesty can potentially turn from opinion to truth… because just like in conversations and life, honesty in art is merely one person’s opinion, through observation and research can truth be attained (hopefully).

One of my artist statements

Vulnerability rubs against my heart like sand paper on skin, empathy breaks my heart like an egg at the edge of a mixing bowl and truth grows painfully inside of me in ways I do not yet understand. These challenges I face push themselves on all artists, either consciously or not. I seek vulnerability and flexibility while hoping for a better life for everyone. I desire empathy for pain in world around me. I want to struggle with miscommunication and lies in order to understand the truth which weighs heavily on me.

I challenge myself to create with every media I encounter. I find that some artists fear showing themselves in their work which can limit them to a single media. Sometimes I am one of those fearful artists.

It is not easy to rip open our hearts, pour them into a visible work at which anyone may open and stare. I have created a myriad of pieces in order that I may compile them into a series of works that proclaim the beautiful majesty of this world in which we life.

Image

 

My desire with my art remains to reflect on all areas of life in order to learn more.